I don't touch coffee nowadays .... the last time I drank coffee
was .... in june ? with another forumer. ...
I think I just need a break to get away from it all .... step
back from everything for a little while ... I'm sick of worrying
about bills and the money clients owe me that never comes in and
one fellow called me up yesterday afternoon to tell me again that
he can't afford to pay me for another month while he cruises around
in a brand new mazda 3, way past the 90 days I gave him all farking
pricks cos I can't do any future planning when I can't even predict
my monthly cash flow with fellows like these
And worrying about the long term future plans and
wondering how the hell am I going to get there I won't be in my 20s
for much longer and my golden decade is nearly gone and how to grow
this thing and outstanding projects and upcoming ones and the new
lobang that I am starting up with other people in september and
sick of my parents thinking that i'm a professional bum because I
work from home and wondering which office I can afford so I can get
away from home
And worrying about being the fillial son wanting to give them
more money than what my younger sister does who brings them out on
holidays and stuff and worrying about my brother who'll be going to
uni after NS but my father's already retired and I have promised
myself to support him through school wondering sometimes how nice
it would be to just get a slack 9-5 job and wait for a fixed
paycheck every month but knowing that I'll never ever ever ever
ever be satisfied being an employee and underling not even if I get
paid millions a year and I can never go back to that route ever
again
And sick of drinking too much and eating too much and now
starting to smoke too much when I was nearly down to one pack a
MONTH before and loosing so much hair as a result and looking like
a bloated dowdy dumpling and being grouchy with family and friends
and not even being able to find time to go diving and go to the sea
my first love and mistress and i don't even want to go into the
love life which is nonexistent now anyways except for old ghosts
....
I have half a mind to go jogging now but I can't cos I am still
buzzed from the beer and prata supper from last night .... head
hurts and I've been trying to work all night after failing to get
back to sleep again after the nightmare with no success and little
to show for it ...and so a new day begins and a week draws to and
end ....
bah ... sorry for ranting, but that felt much much better ...
perhaps some breakfast now would help .... at least it's time for
patches' breakfast and garden romp ....
How old are you??? I don't think you are even 30 yet,
right????? Please stop worrying so much, my friend! Not going
to do you any good.
What business are you running at the moment? You might be
right about stepping back a little bit from what you're doing and
reassess what would work for you. While I understand it's not
easy being an employee, we sometimes have to be realistic about
it. It might be worth working for a few more years for people
to collect all the ideas, experiences etc before we start running
our own business.
Also, try not to put too much pressure on yourself about what
you can do for your parents. Your parents love you
regardless. I think you will hurt them more if they see you
are stressed and unhappy.
Look after yourself, my friend!!!!
